A suitable escort
by utahyoda
Summary: Sirius' suggestion is ridiculous. Isn't it? Sirius Remus friendship, a little bit of RemusTonks.


This is another moment in the life our our favorite werewolf. I have written several, and will shortly combine them into one fic.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or situations. Sigh.

"What have you been doing to my little cousin?" Sirius demanded as he sprawled in a chair across from Remus' desk.

Remus idly turned a page. "Can't imagine what you mean."

"She doesn't know whether you're a gentleman with an evil streak or a lunatic who's good at pretending to be normal."

"And what did you tell her?"

"You're a Marauder. A lunatic gentleman with an evil streak and good acting skills."

"I see." He pretended to read another paragraph, knowing his lack of emotion was driving Sirius crazy. "You know, I remember the Marauders being described somewhat differently during our days at school."

"Yeah." Sirius' face took on the dreamy, almost happy, quality that he wore when reminiscing about their school days. "I can still hear MacGonagall ranting at us in her office." He took on a well-practiced imitation of the professor's accent; "'Foolish, undisciplined, gaggle of miscreants…"

"You know, that's how she introduced me to Professor Sinistra when I taught at Hogwarts. Only she was laughing. I think she finds our antics much more amusing now than she did when we were in her classroom for detention."

"I knew Minerva was really an old softie. Filch had much worse names for us. I'll never forget what Lily said she saw…" his voice trailed off. Remus looked up and saw his friend looking at him carefully. He sighed.

"It's all right, Sirius. I have told you before, and I will tell you again that I was not in love with Lily. I was ecstatic when James married her."

"I have told you, Moony, and I will tell you again that I do not believe you. You spent a lot of cozy time together during prefect rounds."

"I needed a break from you and James."

"You didn't stay at the wedding."

"I volunteered for guard duty so you could stay."

"You weren't at Harry's christening."

"I was in Bulgaria. I sent a gift."

"Well," said Sirius smugly, and Remus knew what was coming. He sighed again. "We must not forget the midnight incident."

"Oh, I think we must."

"You were mumbling her name in your sleep. And I don't think you were dreaming about studying together."

"I was fifteen. As I recall, you called out the name of every girl in our year. Plus MacGonagall."

"Yeah, well." Sirius tapped his foot, looking very much like an eager five-year old. "I never snogged MacGonagall."

Remus looked back at his book. Keeping Sirius' mind was worth losing a little dignity. It didn't mean he couldn't fight back. "I didn't realize that was on your list of life regrets. I could arrange to fix that at the next Order Christmas party."

"There aren't enough dementors in Azkaban to make me that desperate, mate." Sirius tapped his foot some more. "Speaking of being desperate," he said with a mock serious expression, "My records indicate it's been a while for you, too."

"How would you know?"

"Am I wrong? Have you been holding out on me, Moony?"

Remus said nothing. Sirius was not going to give up, and Remus knew from long experience that letting his friend carry on with whatever whim he was currently getting around to was the only way to make it go away.

"Well, if you're looking to get back in the game, you couldn't do better than my color-changing little cousin."

He looked up so fast it hurt his neck. "Tonks?" A funny little bell went off in his head. "You can't be serious. I'm nearly fifteen years older than she is. I was very nearly her teacher."

"You can't tell me you'd say no if she asked. I've seen you watch her in Order meetings. She's my cousin, so of course she's a catch. I approve of her as a suitable escort for any of the Marauders."

"Ask her yourself, then."

"I approve of her as a suitable escort for any of the Marauders that are not related to her, minions of evil, or currently enjoying eternity with their One True Love."

Remus stared at his book, pretending to be engrossed. He couldn't even focus on the words on the page. Tonks. Why wasn't he ready to dismiss this with a laugh as one of Sirius' crazy passing fancies? When Sirius had gotten it into his head that he and Lily were secretly together at Hogwarts, Remus had told her all about it. They'd had a good laugh, and spent weeks teasing Sirius about it. Why couldn't he imagine doing the same with Tonks?

"What makes you think that she's even interested?"

Sirius had a gleam in his eye Remus couldn't quite read. "She talks to me. Someone has to keep me company when you're gone."

"Hmmm," he hummed, noncommittally. There was no way that Sirius was going to let this drop long term, but maybe he could divert his nosy friend long enough to give himself time to think.

"Of course," said Sirius, standing and stretching. "If you don't fancy Tonks, there's always MacGonagall."


End file.
